Seasons Greetings

Karen9For a lot of t-girls, being “dressed” is all about looking as glamorous as possible. For me it’s not; it’s about doing everyday things when I’m at home in Sheffield, and when I’m away from home, it’s about sightseeing, galleries and museums. But every now and again its fun to get dressed up for a night on the town. Last weekend I was in Manchester for a large t-girl get-together. It was perishing cold, but fortunately the snow stayed away – as the photo shows, I didn’t bring the most appropriate footwear for snowy streets. I had a great time – dinner with friends, talking and dancing.

For me, Christmas is a family-focused period. I’m not going to “get out” until midway through January. But that’s fine: my family are important to me. I’ve chosen a life that involves compromises. I could have come out to my children, but they know me as their father, and for where they are in their lives right now, it seems too much to ask of them to expect that they come to terms with the idea of my having a feminine persona. I feel awkward living such a closeted life, but I arrived in my middle years possessed of the daft conviction that being transgendered was some sort of teenage phase that just got a bit out of control. Having enforced on my family one delusion – that I’m just a regular guy – it would be self-indulgent to require them now, after so many years, to adroitly readjust to the notion that in fact I’m not a regular guy at all. It’s been very hard for my wife, and nearly killed our marriage. So the compromises and self-restraint are just the way it has to be. I love my family very much. The role of father is one that I’ve sought to discharge to the best of my ability and I don’t intend to let up now.

Having said all of that, my first outing of 2018 is already in my diary…

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Karen Smith

Just a girl next door...I was born male, but from my earliest years a part of me deep down always wanted desperately to be a girl. She has grown up with me, and needs to escape, breathe the air and walk the green hills of Yorkshire from time to time. Although she's concealed by clouds for most of the time, the girl within is tied up with all that people think is best in me. These pages give her a little space to articulate how she feels.

One thought on “Seasons Greetings”

  1. Karen, I agree entirely. It’s all about achieving a balance between all the aspects of ones life, and one must devote enough time to each.

    Best wishes to you for 2018.

    Justine xx


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